New Dommes…

I have a question, and I know that this is on the minds of many of Us more experienced Ladies who have been in the “Lifestyle” for many years. We worked very hard to get where We are, whether you are a Lifestyle Domme, Professional Domme, Financial Domme, or all of thee above.  We trained with the Best that Our Lifestyle, and learned many forms of Bondage, Domination, Humiliation, etc. so that We can be the like Our Predecessors. But for the LIFE of Me, I can’t understand…

Since when has the training of New Female Dommes turned into treating them like they’re in Preschool????

When I went through this process, there was a time where I wanted to give up, go home and cry for weeks because there was something I knew I messed up on.  Something that wasn’t right when I flogged a sub/slave and broke a superficial vein on their skin, or humiliated them so badly that they wound up never returning for another session.  These are learning experiences that happened because in order for Me to grow, I had to learn from My mistakes.  Like I said, some mistakes are irreversible and some are forgivable, but I learned what not to do or be like.  No one held My hand, and sometimes I was on My own with no help.

My Grandmother taught Me at a young age that if I want something, I have to either go get it Myself or take it…. And believe Me Ladies, I went out and I TOOK it.  Sorry losers, what’s yours is MINE… and what’s MINE is MINE!  Prime example, I wanted something special, (yeah, I know I look younger than I actually am.).  A sub handed over his complete Debit Card information over the phone and I spent about $400.00 for clothing, books, shoes, and a few other items; including paying My phone bill.  It’s not what the sub/slave wants, it’s what YOU want.

Once I got old enough to train to become a Dominant, I was with someone whom I now consider to be one of My BFFs.  He taught Me the BDSM Lifestyle Do’s & Don’ts, and has been keeping Me in the loop about what’s going on on the West Coast.  When We started, there was no classes in the area on the Proper usage of Whips, Canes, Rope Bondage, Mummification, Fire Play, etc.  We learned by experimenting.  Hell, we lived in an area that basically hides who they are. Ya know something, even though he’s now out in California, he still gives Me advice from time to time.  Yet he knows that times change, and a piece of paper stating that you completed “Whips 101” or some other form of class, does not make the person a Dominant.  It’s what you’ve learned along the way from the mistakes that you make, that make you into the Dominant.

Another one of My BFFs, who is also a Male Dom, taught Me to use My imagination when planning a scene or session.  What can I do with said sub/slave?  What fetishes make him/her so hard/wet that when they are given consent for release, that they do just that and so HARD that not only do they see stars but also pass out from the magnitude of it?  How much pain should a pain slut receive if they have been disobedient?  The answer to that is simple… NONE.  There are more lessons that I have learned in My continuous journey to become who I am today.

However, I feel that if a New Domme comes into this Lifestyle with no type of training, gets multitudes of subs/slaves, only to have to them jump ship time and time again because She doesn’t have the proper training/guidance to ensure Her “Stable” is secure… Then that person needs to let them go find someone who actually is trained and ask them to Mentor them.  I mentor other Dommes willingly when asked.  Or I’ll give them advice if they ask Me.  But, I will not hold their hand.  No one held My hand during My process of learning and I got the scratches, cuts, and scars to prove it.  Hell, I’ve even been humiliated a few times because of something I did.  Once I processed the situation and concluded that there needed to be changes, I made them.  Not someone else.

As for cursing, shit!!!  I’ve been known to curse like a long shore sailor and not give a fuck who was/is in the area (Sorry Mom.).  Cursing a slave out for fucking up or calling a sissy slut a whore to Me is what happens in a normal day for Me.  All sissy sluts are whores to Me, especially those who constantly hop from one Domme to another.  They are sluts, whores, tramps, cum dumps, and lots of other unfortunately negative names that are meant to HUMILIATE & DEGRADE them.  So when someone tells Me that I can no longer curse in a chat room, I’ll do exactly what I did today… Caio.  I will leave the chat room and go find somewhere else that MY time can be useful.  Especially where the slaves/subs know what Slave Protocol is concerning a Superior.

These new Dommes have it easy when website owners bend over backwards to accommodate their needs.  Sorry that I’m not a College student who lives a sheltered lifestyle behind My mommy & daddy’s wallet.  Or I don’t look like I’m old enough to drink at a bar and I’m using a fake ID to prove how old I am.  I’m a 40 year old Dominant Female whose become a figure to not be messed with.  I do whatever I must in order to grow. I speak My mind when necessary and I’ll do whatever the fuck I please.  Get up off your asses and read a book on the various types/styles of Fetishes that might interest you.  When you ask a question, you will get an answer.  Don’t whine or cry on webcam in a chat room like some Sugar Baby looking for a Sugar Daddy to take care of you.  You may find yourself homeless and broke.  Begging for anything is beneath the Us.  The slaves/subs come to Us because We give them what they desperately need in their lives.  They don’t want another headache like their wives, girlfriends, or bosses.  They get that in their Vanilla lives.

So buck up and do the footwork sweetie pie!  The free ride is over and you have a lot to learn.  So start taking notes and do what We more EXPERIENCED Ladies (and Gentlemen) have been doing…

1. Network with others.
2. Advertise on every BDSM Community & Social Media website out there.
3. Market yourself with pictures/videos/clips/etc. of yourself (not stolen photos of someone else).
4. Ask questions.
5. Don’t sell yourself short!!!

One more thing…

LOSE THE FAKE IDs.  YOUR NOT FOOLING ME.